My secret world


I tiptoe into the house

sneak past my children playing in the living room

dash to my room and lock the door

I’m so so tired, you see. Today, I just can’t make the instant switch from doctor to mother. Babies died today at work. I soaked up a lot of tears. I’m so tired.

In my room, I kneel on the floor, then I lift my prayer rug, peeling it away from the reveal the trap door underneath (don’t tell. It’s a secret..what? you want to come and see? OK, just this once, then..come along)

I go down the steps that wind down down down in the twisted spiral of time. By the time it turns into a slide, I’m 19 again, and poof! I always love this part..I land onto a bed of feathers.. and bubbles rise to the sky when I arrive..for no reason other than that I wish it.

I throw myself back and spread my limbs, eyes closed. Can you smell the pine needles and forest? Can you hear the silence that’s not silent? that’s filled with birdsong, and rustling leaves and running water..and a distant’s the flute. that would be my instrument if I had one.

Hello, Pegasus! you always greet me. The horse nuzzles me so I open one eye to peer up at him. What? enough laziness, you say? Do you have any idea what my day has been like? But Ok, lets go for a ride, let’s outrun my past..and push away my future for just a few moments longer..I already hear the banging on my bedroom door..the children are calling me … but I’m not ready to go back just yet.

I close my eyes against the wind, and let Pegasus lead. We fly above this Mystical world of mine.. The fairies race with us, the mermaids wave to us from the ocean below..I won’t have time to switch into a fairy or a mermaid today..but I promise myself I’ll be back soon for an extended visit with my friends. Oh, there’s Peter Pan! I wave back at him (ha! my sister will be jealous I got to see him).

Pegasus, always responsible, circles back-he loves my children you see,  though he only knows their laughter, and my stories of them. He lowers his head down to my bed of feathers. Reluctantly I slide off his back.. I open the trap door above me and imagine trudging back up up up my twisted stairwell of time.. it seems a long way back up to 32… but then I hear my children’s squealing laughter..hmm someone is being tickled.. I race up the steps full of new energy again..just in time to catch the game 🙂


If the world had your Heart, Abdul


If the world..

had your heart, Abdul

What a place it would be..

So cool

You, who cried..

When you knew,

The Tasmanian Tiger

Was extinct before you..

Before you were ever born

But you cried for it

Soaked your pillow

“Why? Why did they kill them all?

They weren’t dangerous! They didn’t do anything!”

You who asked me once

With your hands on your shaking head

“How do people do this?

How do you steal something?

How do you kill someone?


You who wave at strangers and say

“See Mama,

It’s a game ..

you wave and see who waves back”

And people always wave back to you, my love

If only the world had you heart, Abdul

What a place it would be





The Tasmanian Tiger is believed to have been hunted to extinction in the 20th century. There is actually a video of the last one known to survive,  in the 20s I believe. Despite its official classification as extinct, sightings are still reported, though none has been conclusively proven.

It was a relatively shy, nocturnal creature, but a formidable predator. It was one of the rare marsupials where both the male and the female have a pouch that can protect the young.

Such a beautiful animal, so like you; merciful, shy, rare, caring-for-the-young  Abdulrahman (which in Arabic means servant of the All-Merciful ).

Maybe you’ll be the one to discover there are still some Tasmanian Tigers left. Maybe you’ll be the one to capture them on camera when you grow up to be a wild life photographer, like you say you want to be.

There is always hope. As long as there are hearts like yours Abdul, there is always hope.

Painting above retrieved from: the depths of my heart.

Poem and image published with the permission of : Abdulranman, 9


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