I tiptoe into the house
sneak past my children playing in the living room
dash to my room and lock the door
I’m so so tired, you see. Today, I just can’t make the instant switch from doctor to mother. Babies died today at work. I soaked up a lot of tears. I’m so tired.
In my room, I kneel on the floor, then I lift my prayer rug, peeling it away from the ground..to reveal the trap door underneath (don’t tell. It’s a secret..what? you want to come and see? OK, just this once, then..come along)
I go down the steps that wind down down down in the twisted spiral of time. By the time it turns into a slide, I’m 19 again, and poof! I always love this part..I land onto a bed of feathers.. and bubbles rise to the sky when I arrive..for no reason other than that I wish it.
I throw myself back and spread my limbs, eyes closed. Can you smell the pine needles and forest? Can you hear the silence that’s not silent? that’s filled with birdsong, and rustling leaves and running water..and a distant music..it’s the flute. that would be my instrument if I had one.
Hello, Pegasus! you always greet me. The horse nuzzles me so I open one eye to peer up at him. What? enough laziness, you say? Do you have any idea what my day has been like? But Ok, lets go for a ride, let’s outrun my past..and push away my future for just a few moments longer..I already hear the banging on my bedroom door..the children are calling me … but I’m not ready to go back just yet.
I close my eyes against the wind, and let Pegasus lead. We fly above this Mystical world of mine.. The fairies race with us, the mermaids wave to us from the ocean below..I won’t have time to switch into a fairy or a mermaid today..but I promise myself I’ll be back soon for an extended visit with my friends. Oh, there’s Peter Pan! I wave back at him (ha! my sister will be jealous I got to see him).
Pegasus, always responsible, circles back-he loves my children you see, though he only knows their laughter, and my stories of them. He lowers his head down to my bed of feathers. Reluctantly I slide off his back.. I open the trap door above me and imagine trudging back up up up my twisted stairwell of time.. it seems a long way back up to 32… but then I hear my children’s squealing laughter..hmm someone is being tickled.. I race up the steps full of new energy again..just in time to catch the game 🙂